San Diego

Thinking of you laughing with her gets me through.

Quitting

I haven't had a cigarette in 21 days.

I need to quit you with the same conviction, without giving in for alcohol or boredom or loneliness. For stress, for anger, for heartache.

I've quit you innumerable times, letting the gentle and oh-so-subtle tug of your attention lure me back in. Why can't I muster the anger I harbor when I know you're with her when you look me in the eyes? When you moan in my ear? Why do I allow your kiss to electrify and deceive and control me?

You are a chase and, while thrilling, I'm just so tired of running. I've got to know, deep down, that you aren't the one. Though, against my own advice, I cannot stop thinking of our forever.

I quit cigarettes. I can...I will quit you.